Dreams Lead to a Nightmare

So how did this whole thing come about? What caused me to reach out to my wife's best friend and begin this relationship? Would you believe dreams?

For about a month and a half prior to the relationship beginning I had dreams about the mistress. These dreams ranged from innocent and playful to downright hardcore. I could not get these images out of my head whenever she came around. I convinced myself that the reason I am having these dreams is because this is what I am supposed to do.

With the confidence that I was supposed to get with the mistress, I playfully one day, made a comment about her kissing me as she was leaving my house. We teased each other about her coming back inside and getting a kiss. Soon she left for her home. I was not done!

My wife came home and I found a way to get out of the house almost immediately. I called the mistress and asked to come by and talk with her. We stood in her kitchen and chatted. Before long we kissed. The supposed "dream" was becoming a reality...and I didn't care about anyone else.

Looking back, I cannot believe that selfishness caused me to do what I did. An affair is one thing. An affair with your wife's best friend is another. But an affair with your wife's best friend for almost 3 years...that's the ultimate in me, me, me. The dreams that I had made it seem as if that is where I needed to be. I believed them. One scary thing to me is that Satan truly uses ANYTHING at his disposal to get to you.

Have I had dreams again of the mistress? Yes I have. However, none of these dreams are of a sexual nature. The dreams are primarily of her being mad at me and me wondering how she is doing. As my counselor has stated, I have to be on-guard at all times. The moment I let some seemingly innocent dream guide me, I could be back where I was. That's not a place I EVER want to be again...