Welcome to the Cheaters Confessional. I have decided to write this blog in order to, hopefully, reach out to those who are cheating on their spouses or thinking about doing so and show them that there is a better way to work out your problems at home...with your spouse's help. In addition, I am writing this to help myself in the process.
You might ask yourself, "What do you know about cheating?" Well lots...from March 2004 until January of 2007 I was involved in an affair with my wife's best friend. There I said it. Me and her had an absolutely illicit affair that she and I both seemed to not care about getting caught or the harm that we were doing to our families.
Now before I get into the meat and potatoes of my sin, I want to give a little background information on me and how I got to this point. My wife and I were married over 11 years ago. We got married a little faster than what some might have done. We did date for over a year. Not that time is of importance here. When we got married she was pregnant with our first child. Now that little fact caused so much in the way of problems then we thought it ever would. More on that in a future post.
She and I had a fantastic "courtship". We went out often. We stayed up till all hours of the night talking. We were attracted to one another physically and emotionally. That Wednesday when she showed up to my apartment to tell me that she was pregnant, I knew exactly what I had to do. I got on one knee and asked her to marry me.
We DID get married because we loved each other. The plan was for us to get married once my wife completed college. We just moved that up a couple of years when we walked down the isle. The ceremony was attended by us, of course, and a couple that went to school with her and my friend from the military along with the minister. We decided to tell our parents after the fact. Looking back, I am glad we did it the way we did. It made the stressfullness of that night disappear because we were focused on was each other.
The ceremony was quite nice and subtle. Afterwards we travelled to a nearby town to spend the evening at a bed and breakfast. It seems that after this point is where the rollercoaster began...
My wife travelled alone to tell her parents that we were married and that she was expecting. This was one decision that I do not think was the best. Upon hearing this, her parents were angry, upset and asked her to get her belongings out of their house. To make matters worse, they also called themselves Christians and her father was an elder at a rather large church. This makes it worse because at the time, while I did attend church with my wife, I never really called myself Christian because I felt that I had not earned that title yet.
My wife called me in tears. Her parents basically disowned her. Her siblings were appalled. The one person she was supposed to be able to lean on, me, was more than 5 hours away.
Upon her return, we were told by her parents to come back the next week in order to gather the rest of my wife's belongings while her parents were out of town. That weekend came and we went to her hometown. While we were there her sisters and her brother-in-law had us over for dinner. This was the first attempt by the family to get to know me even though I had been around for over a year. The brother-in-law and I sat on the couch and were talking about soccer. All the while I had an ear out listening to the girls talk. The more I listened that more I was becoming upset. Her sisters told her that she was tearing the family apart and that she was harming her parents' reputation. Finally after having enough, my wife ran to the bathroom crying. I followed right behind and let the family know my life story. I told them about my family. My upbringing. The lack of spiritual leadership in my home. That even though I was the only one my wife was ever with, I had been with others and she was the one I wanted.
This went on for about two hours before the sisters and the brother-in-law agreed that I was not what they thought. My wife and I left that evening. I felt confident that I had did the right thing.
The next week she received a phone call from her dad. He asked if she and I could come back down that weekend. I just knew it would be another knock down verbal battle. This time with the parents. I was scared to death!
We arrived at their home and her dad tried to small talk with me. Her mom walked out back and said nothing to either my wife or me. I thought, "So much for anything being different." As we sat down for dinner, I was informed that I was being placed inbetween her mom and her dad. As her dad began to say the prayer he then said the words that I still cannot believe that were said, "Today we welcome a new member to the family." Her mom gave me a big hug and kiss on the cheek.
I will tell the rest of the background soon. Stay posted.
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